Charlee Roberts
Co-founder, Stepfamily Network
Hi, I’m Charlee! I’m a bio mom and a stepmom, and between Steve and I we share 5 kids, two ex-spouses still in the picture, and one marriage that isn’t perfect by any means, but we’re blessed to be in this together. We’ve had our challenges and close calls when we were ready to call it... but a couple decades in we’ve learned a few things that you may find of help in your journey towards blending.
I’m not a therapist, and I’ll say so loudly. I’m a woman who has stood on both sides of the stepmom and bio mom line, and I write about what I’ve lived: the loyalty bind, the loneliest seat in the house, discipline, the ex-spouse triangle, and why none of it can be rushed.
I believe in sunshine, long walks and telling the truth, in roughly that order. My big hobby is chasing the moon with my phone camera and getting a blurry white dot.
Pull up a chair. The kettle’s on, the community’s here, and nobody gets graded.
What Charlee writes about
Articles by Charlee
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Stepfamily Counseling: When a Family Therapist May Help
Not sure if your stepfamily needs a therapist? Signs counseling may help, who to look for, what to ask before session one, and where to refer out. -
Stepmom Support Groups: What to Expect and How to Find One
Thinking about a stepmom support group? What happens in the room, the kinds of groups out there, and how to tell a good fit from one that isn’t. -
Support Options for Stepmoms: Groups, Counseling, Coaching, and Courses
Groups, counseling, coaching or a course? A neutral side-by-side of stepmom support options, what each can and can’t do, and when to see a licensed pro. -
Kids & Loyalty When Adult Stepchildren Are Ruining Your Marriage
The pressure from adult stepchildren is usually money, access, occasions and a partner who won’t say no. All four are couple problems. Where to start. -
Kids & Loyalty Bonding With Stepchildren
Bonding with stepchildren isn’t a project with a finish line. How a stepfamily bond actually forms, how long it usually takes, and what sets it back. -
Role Clarity Can a Stepparent Discipline a Stepchild?
Yes, eventually, and not the way most people mean it. What a stepparent can hold from day one, what belongs to the bio parent, and the line that holds. -
Family Identity Childless Stepmom Depression
Being a stepmom without kids of your own carries a grief nobody names. What childless stepmom depression actually is, what helps, and when to get help. -
Outside Boundaries Co-Parenting Boundaries in a New Relationship
A co-parenting boundary is an agreement with your partner, not a rule for their ex. The boundaries that hold with a new partner, and the talk to have. -
Kids & Loyalty Dealing With Adult Stepchildren: The Problems Nobody Names
Everyone assumes grown stepchildren are easier. The four problems nobody warns you about, what disrespect and entitlement usually mean, and what works. -
Kids & Loyalty Distancing Yourself From Grown Stepchildren
Distance from grown stepchildren works when it’s chosen, has terms, and your partner hears it first. What to stop, what to keep, and how to step back. -
Role Clarity How to Be a Good Stepmom (and What That Actually Means)
A good stepmom is warm, consistent, honest with her partner and not trying to be anyone’s mother. What the first year asks of you, and what to put down. -
Role Clarity How to Be a Great Stepdad (and What That Takes)
Stepdads go wrong two opposite ways: taking command, or checking out. What works instead, in what order, and the one move with the highest leverage. -
Kids & Loyalty How to Deal With a Stepchild Who Has Gone Cold
A stepchild going cold is rarely about you. What it usually means, how to handle a disrespectful stepchild this week, and where the rest of the plan lives. -
Family Identity I Hate Being a Stepmom
Hating the stepmom role isn’t the same as hating the kids, and it’s more common than anyone admits out loud. What the feeling means, and what changes it. -
Kids & Loyalty I Hate My Adult Stepdaughter: What That Feeling Means
The feeling is more common than anyone admits, and it’s almost never hate. What’s underneath it with a grown stepdaughter, and the one thing that helps. -
Kids & Loyalty I Hate My Stepkids: What That Feeling Is Actually Telling You
You typed ‘I hate my stepkids’ and felt ashamed of it. Why that feeling usually isn’t about your stepchild at all, and what actually helps this week. -
Outside Boundaries A List of Co-Parenting Boundaries That Actually Hold
Most co-parenting boundary lists are rules for the other household, so they fail. The working list of co-parenting boundaries, by category, that holds. -
Kids & Loyalty My Stepdaughter Hates Me. My Stepson Hates Me. What Now?
If your stepdaughter or stepson has gone cold, it rarely means hate. Why it happens, what’s going on underneath, and exact words for the hardest moments. -
Role Clarity Nacho Parenting: What It Means for a Step Parent
Nacho parenting is a stepparent’s choice to step back from parenting that isn’t theirs. What it is, when it works, when it backfires, and how to do it. -
Role Clarity The Role of a Stepparent: What the Job Actually Is
Nobody hands a stepparent a job description. What the role of a stepparent actually is, what it isn’t, where discipline sits, and how it changes over time. -
Kids & Loyalty Signs of a Jealous Stepdaughter
What gets called jealousy in a stepdaughter is usually a child protecting a bond she’s afraid of losing. The signs, what’s underneath them, and what helps. -
Family Identity Signs of an Unhappy Step Parent
Stepparent burnout rarely announces itself. The signs of an unhappy step parent: dread before handover weekends, a flat feeling, score-keeping, retreat. -
Kids & Loyalty Signs of Toxic Grown Stepchildren (and What They Mean)
The behaviors are real: contempt, triangulation, access control, money pressure. The signs of toxic grown stepchildren, what each means, and what to do. -
Kids & Loyalty Signs Your Stepchild Hates You (and What They Usually Mean)
Silent treatment, hot and cold moods, comparisons to their other parent. How to tell if your stepchild hates you, what the signs mean, and when to worry. -
Couple Connection My Stepchild Is Ruining My Marriage
A stepchild is rarely what’s actually straining a stepfamily marriage. What’s really happening, what the research says, and the first thing to change. -
Outside Boundaries When a Stepmom Hates the Bio Mom
Most stepmom and bio mom hostility is two women in impossible positions. What’s underneath it, how to handle a high-conflict bio mom, and sparing the kids. -
Family Identity Stepmom Help: A Simple Guide to Surviving as a Stepmom
Most stepmoms aren’t failing. They’re doing a job nobody described, without a role anyone agreed on. Stepmom help that starts with what’s normal. -
Family Identity Step Parent Resentment: Where It Comes From
Stepparent resentment is almost always a bill coming due: unacknowledged work, an undefined role, an unequal deal. Where it comes from and how to say it. -
Role Clarity Stepparent Boundaries: Where to Actually Draw Them
A boundary is a decision about what you’ll do, not a rule for someone else. The stepparent boundaries that hold, and how to say one without a fight. -
Couple Connection When to Leave Because of a Stepchild
The question is legitimate. How to tell the hardest stepfamily stage apart from a fixable arrangement and from a marriage that won’t change. -
Kids & Loyalty When You Do Not Love Your Stepkids Yet: A Lower-Pressure Standard
If you don’t love your stepkids yet, use a lower-pressure standard. Aim for warmth, safety and respect instead of forcing a feeling on a schedule. -
Kids & Loyalty What a Loyalty Bind Is (and Why It Looks Like Rejection)
A loyalty bind is a child’s fear that loving a stepparent betrays their other parent. What it looks like at home, why closeness backfires, and what helps. -
Role Clarity The Loneliest Seat in the House: The Insider/Outsider Trap (and How to Climb Out)
Why you can feel completely alone in a room full of your own family. The insider/outsider trap every stepfamily hits, and the moves that close the gap. -
Kids & Loyalty When Your Stepkids Pull Away, It’s Probably Not About You
Your stepkid’s cold shoulder usually isn’t rejection. It’s grief. Why stepkids pull away, why trying harder backfires, and exact words to use this week. -
United Front Why You Keep Fighting About Discipline (and the Fix Isn’t Agreeing on the Rules)
Stepfamily discipline fights almost never come from a values clash. They come from a predictable mechanical trap, and here’s how you both step out of it.